Chain of Fools or Destiny?

Sharing this blog again as I remember my friend–gone too soon.

harmonyspearls

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I am not a fan of the movie, Michael.  It was dark, sad, and depressing.  Travolta’s Michael was nothing like the Archangel in my head.  But that dance.  You remember it.  Chain of Fools.  Oh man.  Every woman remembers that dance.

I got to thinking about the title to that song.  Chain of Fools. How our lives are one long chain, and the people in it are the links.  Some, like the lyrics say, are weak, others are strong, but whatever they are, they are meant to be a part of the chain that makes up our lives.

Years ago I worked with an adorable towheaded, curly haired girl with blue eyes.  She had a cherubic face and translucent skin.  She looked like a fragile, porcelain doll.

She was a great nurse, and a great friend.  We were doing some pretty serious work at the bedside, all us girls on…

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You’re the One that I Love, Whooo hooo hooo, Honey!

I don’t know how this fabulous encounter came to be, though, it looks to me like John happened to be at her show and this was an impromptu reunion.  Let me tell you, it thrilled me to death to watch!

Both of these people have publicly gone through hell and back with health issues, grief, loss, poor choices and have been the subjects of real or made-up  fodder for the tabloids.  There is something endearing about the joy in which they sang this song together.  Fighters, believers in times that were once good and can be resurrected, no matter how much pain they have faced along the way from those two young kids in the movie Grease to these middle-aged kids on stage.

I get a sense that better things are yet to come, we can still do what we always have in a new way with new vigor and a stronger sense of ourselves.  Yah, this video spoke to me in a very real way.

Then I see this on Facebook.  I loved this post about the Pity train.  Then, immediately following, I read an update about someone wishing others would quit whining. I even said out loud after singing “You’re the One that I love, WHOO WHOOO HOOO, HONEY” at the top of my lungs.  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  Whining about whining?” It KILLS ME!  Don’t they know they are riding on the pity train???

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I don’t want this blog to be negative, it’s about the truth, and sometimes negativity is truth, and it’s hard to turn your cheek all the time when all you want to do is give them a good boot to the behind, and say, GET OFF THE TRAIN!

I know there are negative people, I used to be one.  I’ve darn near been the conductor of the pity train.  What I found was, being negative creates negative situations, and brings negative people to your side, and pushes those with hope away.  It’s like the Zombies that everyone except me is obsessed with.  Negative Zombies will kill every positive person in their way, sucking the goodness from them.  My negativity was turned inward and was self-loathing, I didn’t feel worthy of joy, which makes staying on the pity train so much easier, I simply didn’t believe I was worth more.  A  stint with a counselor helped ease that pain, and then my faith took me the rest of the way, not that I still don’t sometimes fight the zombies trying to suck my positive feelings right out of me.

As I think about the negativity that has surrounded John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, real or imagined, I consider them warriors, and easy enough with themselves to let it fall off them and entertain others, and even themselves.  You can’t say you didn’t smile as they sang, right?

For a minute, I hope all the people who saw that video, and who are riding the pity train, will see themselves in both, and recognize the joys of a single moment, it’s hard to practice self-pity when you are living moment to moment, and looking for the joy in each.  I speak from experience, one moment in a day of difficult times, one happy positive moment, can change everything.

Rock on, John and Olivia, we’ll be rocking out with you, one moment at a time.

I am going to clean my dishwasher now.  Who knew that something that gets things clean needs cleaning?  Have a good day.

Chain of Fools or Destiny?

 

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I am not a fan of the movie, Michael.  It was dark, sad, and depressing.  Travolta’s Michael was nothing like the Archangel in my head.  But that dance.  You remember it.  Chain of Fools.  Oh man.  Every woman remembers that dance.

I got to thinking about the title to that song.  Chain of Fools. How our lives are one long chain, and the people in it are the links.  Some, like the lyrics say, are weak, others are strong, but whatever they are, they are meant to be a part of the chain that makes up our lives.

Years ago I worked with an adorable towheaded, curly haired girl with blue eyes.  She had a cherubic face and translucent skin.  She looked like a fragile, porcelain doll.

She was a great nurse, and a great friend.  We were doing some pretty serious work at the bedside, all us girls on 4 South.  We took care of the sick and the dying.  But, we were also young, and my friend, with her cherubic face, had a naughty side, not naughty in a bad way, but in a fun one.  She had a beautiful smile and an amazing laugh.  I loved her spirit.

We shared many weekend trips together.  We went camping once before she got married–awkwardly pitching a tent, throwing in whatever her mom gave us to take, and sitting around laughing, talking, and dreaming while drinking cheap wine.

Cheap wine led to outdoor potties, you know the squatting type. Her most sage advice to this day was, “Don’t ever pee down hill from someone else who is peeing.” Not a good squatter as it was, I thought I would die laughing and land in said pee.

We learned another lesson that night.  Don’t leave your pup tent unzipped, because it will fill up with daddy long leg spiders.  Arrrgh.

There were three of us on that camping trip, and we all slept in the back of my 74 Orange Vega Hatchback.

When I met Rick, I was smitten by this bad boy who had captured my heart.  But, I was a level-headed young woman with dreams and plans, and a bad boy didn’t fit into them.  One night she and I closed down a local joint with a bunch of hospital friends.  On the way to her apartment (she was a newlywed) I was talking about Rick and she said, “Bonnie, I’ve never seen you happier since I’ve known you than when you were with him, and have never seen you so miserable since you have been apart.”

I sat in my Vega at 2 in the morning with my friend, and thought about the last conversation I’d had with him two weeks before. He was falling in love and I wasn’t ready, and he said he wouldn’t accept anything less and I was to call him if I decided that I would commit to a love relationship.

Boom. Gone.

My friend said, “Come on, call him!”

“But it’s 2 in the morning!”

“So what?”

She and I tiptoed into her apartment so we wouldn’t wake up her hubby, and she took the phone off the hook and handed it to me.  I dialed the number and he picked it up on the first ring, and said, “I knew it was you. I’ll meet you at your house.” Click!  And even though he had to come in from the city, he still beat me to my house out in the farmlands and from then on…well, our history and our future all borne from the encouragement of a friend.

A couple years ago, this friend and I met up and had a lovely lunch.  She’s not changed at all, she is a grandma now (soooo jealous) and we stay in touch via Facebook (seriously one of the greatest inventions of all time).  I consider her a pretty strong link in my chain because of how she encouraged me that night.

Those moments happen and we have no idea that they are coming, or the impact and power they will have on the rest of our lives. To her it was a conversation and astute observation — to me it was a beginning. She is a strong link indeed.