The treasure of my panty drawer…


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As long as we’ve been married, like Laura Petrie in the infamous scene where Rob finds Laura’s stash in her panty drawer, I have always had a little bit of what I call my “stash”.  There is never a time I give up my last dime, though I’ve gotten down to the last dime many times.

I need my own money to get my hair done, buy my shampoo, or any number of girlie things that a man simply doesn’t get.  It’s not like I’m sitting on a fortune.  I am just a saver.  I need that cushion above and beyond “his n her” money.  I need it to survive mentally and physically and emotionally.  I need that little stickler of independence for the braless and blue jean hippy girl that still lives inside my soul.  I need the mystery of my little stash.

I confess, I don’t…

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Red ball, green ball, purple ball, four… Juggling, juggling. Juggling more…


This is me, well it was drawn by me, and my nose is pointier, and my hair more plentiful, but you all know the feeling of trying to keep the balls in the air, and catching each one.  This is our lives on many days, and if you’re a young mom or dad, there are a couple snot covered balls in the air, too, which makes them so much harder to catch.

I’m trying to keep the balls in the air and catching them, and watching them, making sure Eugene doesn’t get one and chew it, and you know, it’s so much responsibility keeping all the balls in the air. It’s exhausting.

Some days we are so darned good at it, right down to the last ball (yup, that’s you) that pops around in your head while you’re sleeping.  You’ve tucked them away — bathed, powdered, and sweet-smelling. Maybe you even fell asleep in the tub for a bit while you soaked, while the ever-present ball, the one that represents you, floats pleasantly in the warm sudsy water.

Today, the balls are not the same as they were when I was a young mom, but they are still my balls to juggle nonetheless.  They need my attention, and are no less important than the ones I’ve had in the air my whole life.

But here’s a question, how many balls do we willingly take on that we can just let bounce away?  Worry?  That’s a heck of a ball, very difficult to keep in the air, but we continue to try, and the truth about worry is it does nothing to enhance today, and actually has nothing to do with tomorrow or the next day, because worry doesn’t change anything.  Let worry — that ugly ball go. And, don’t you dare go over to that dusty corner and pick it up, as tempting as it is, leave it. Enjoy the juggling of one less heavy ball.

And some balls are heavier, the weight of a sick or aging parent makes a very heavy ball, concern over your big sissy’s arthritic hands, unpaid bills, the laundry (okay, not so heavy, but a ball nonetheless), a sick child, world hunger, the national debt — we can add a ton of balls to our juggling act.

We need to choose very carefully the balls we juggle.  Try just letting one go — let one go today.  Give your sissy’s hands to God in prayer.  Trust the caregiver to see to your parent’s needs, remember that children are resilient and bounce back faster than the ball we insist on tossing in the air endlessly.  Insofar as the laundry, if anyone figures that one out, let me know.

Your son, yah, you’ve worried about him, but it’s his life to live, add him to the list of prayer and take him off the list of juggling.  When it’s the weekend, take work off the list, don’t juggle today what doesn’t need to be juggled until tomorrow or the next day.

Don’t forget to ask a person to help when the balls get too plentiful, it’s so much more fun and productive juggling with a friend, a coworker, spouse, child or sibling. Imagine what happens when your balls dwindle to just one, or two?  It becomes a game of catch, or volleyball, who wouldn’t love that?

We can’t rid ourselves of the responsibilities of our lives, nor would we want to.  But some days we can organize it into one easy to handle, fun to play with ball.  So much easier to keep in the air and by golly a lot more fun.

Juggling is a part of our lives; it keeps us focused and alert, and relevant.  Keeping the balls we need to juggle in the air is much easier when we toss the balls of worry, fear, and anxiety aside.  Those balls do us no good and take our eyes off the ones that are important.